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The Truth About Infidelity and Surveillance

How to understand the signs...and what to do next.

At Precision Integrity Services, our private investigators frequently receive requests to use surveillance for confirming suspicions of a partner’s infidelity. 

In this article, we will give you some of the best advice about dealing with infidelity in your relationship. While you read this article remember these things:

• We are NOT lawyers. This should not be taken as legal advice.

• Our advice is objective. We don’t have any stake in what is taking place so the advice we offer is free of emotion – something hard to get when you feel you are the victim of a cheating spouse.

• We want the best result for you – and despite how you may feel, if you follow our advice, you will do far better than if you follow your emotions.

Is He Cheating Or Are You Paranoid? Signs To Look For

In our decades of experience as police officers and private investigators, we have seen hundreds of instances of adultery, and relationships that fall on the wrong side of monogamy. Hence, below is a list of things we see and regularly ask potential clients when they have concerns about their partner possibly cheating or about to cheat on them.

Is Your Partner:

  • Talking outside on their phone more than before?
  • Won’t let their phone out of sight?
  • Short phone calls that get shut down quickly or not answered at all?
  • Have added new security measures to their phone or device?
  • Increased absence – working late, work trips, meeting “friends” for dinner or a night out?
  • Going to the gym or working out more?
  • Watching their figure more (Dieting, weight loss programs & meds)?
  • Buying new clothing or change in clothing style?
  • New fragrance (new cologne / perfume or more than usual worn)?
  • Change in libido (Could be an up or downturn depending on the person)?
  • Reduced engagement in conversation (there in person not in spirit)?
  • Less physical touch?
  • Unexplained expenditures in bank accounts?
  • Gifts and new items appearing without explanation?
  • Changed activity on social media – less posting or posting images without you?
  • Increased mentioning of a work colleague or associate from a sports team or hobby?

But before you jump to the worst of conclusions, let’s remember this:

  • A single one of these indicators alone is not an indicator of your spouse cheating on you. You would expect multiple indicators of the above to be present before you suspected anything.
  • One of the key points of these indicators is change in behaviour. If your partner has always done what they are doing, then again you may not want to give that indicator much weight in your suspicions.
  • Finally, there may be a very good reason for these actions. For example:
  • They do have a looming deadline and need to work back more.
  • They may be planning a good surprise for you.
  • Their work or recent events have caused them to increase their cyber security.
  • Trying to get into shape to be a better partner for you or for their own health.

Keeping these in mind, we know that sometimes you just want an answer. You don’t want to be deceive, you want all the information so make an informed decision.

What To Do If You Said “Yes” Too Many Times To These Indicators?

Usually, it is about this time that we as investigators get a call from concerned clients asking for surveillance. We will tell you what we tell everyone inquiring about infidelity surveillance services, SAVE YOUR MONEY. In complete honesty and for reasons I will explain shortly, if you think your husband, wife or partner is cheating on you, you do not need a private investigator. You need a good family counselor and or a good family lawyer. Here’s why:

  • If you don’t trust your partner, do you really have a relationship? If your partner was doing nothing wrong and/or the surveillance you wanted found nothing, would you believe that nothing was happening? What does your partner need to do to prove that they aren’t cheating? The fact is if you don’t feel like you can trust your spouse then you both probably need to assess your relationship.

  • Family law in Australia has a no blame principle. The judge in your family law matter doesn’t care who cheated on who they just want to know who should get what share of the assets and if there is any reason that effects the care and well-being of the children in the future. As such, getting evidence of your spouse cheating doesn’t help any future court case.

  • We won’t capture the “money shot”. Due to various legal constraints, it’s almost impossible to get the image you want for proof. From our experience we have caught dozens of people in the act of being unfaithful and even with photographic evidence, these people when confronted will often lie with such ease that they convince our client (or add just enough doubt) that what they are seeing is a one off, out of context, a bad angle, the other party throwing themselves at the target just before they pushed them away with their virtue in tack, running as fast they could back to their spouse. Hence you have to know before you get an investigator what the explicit rules or expectations are of the behavior of your spouse and what line they need to cross before you have “proof”.

  • You won’t find closure in images. You might confront your partner in a fit of rage, but they will leave, and you will be left alone fixated upon video or images of the person you loved with someone else. It can for some, become its own special kind of torture.

  • You want proof so to show your partners family or friends. We would caution against this as most of the time the family of your former partner sides with the partner anyway and you increase the level of animosity and desire to “even the score” between you and your former lover.

  • No guarantees. What I mean by this is the time we do surveillance could be the one time that the cheating partner’s affair gets called off because of illness or car trouble or something else. Hence there is every possibility you will be paying us to watch your alleged cheating partner sit at home by themselves and watch Netflix. Or maybe they meet new people all the time and the times we watch them are the times when nothing is happening whilst they find their next hook up.

  • The cost is an issue. Our surveillance operatives are good. In fact, some of the best but that comes at a cost and a minimum 4 hours for each deployment and possibly multiple operatives involved to conduct a follow means there is a lot of money tied up in our service that honestly you might need if you are going to try to save your relationship and or dismantle it with the relevant complexities.

We repeat, save your money.

What Our Competitors Say About Infidelity

We know what our competitors offer. They promise the earth but let’s be transparent here –some of our competitors make perverts seem like model citizens. They know you are in an emotional state , and they take advantage of that. When your emotions are involved, so is your wallet. If they drip feed you information or even make things up, they get paid more.

More than this, some of what our competitors offer is without a shadow of a doubt, illegal. When you are getting advised to put trackers in cars and listening device, then you are breaching the criminal laws in your state.

This means that when you get found out, and you will get found out because our TSCM services help victims find the devices and spyware our competitors sell, your relationship will come to an end with your arrest.

If Your Suspect Your Partner Is Cheating, We Recommend Doing This Instead

If you think your partner is cheating, we suggest making an appointment to see a family law solicitor. There are a lot of people that give advice on family law without much of a clue about it and we have found many clients have incorrect ideas about family law. As such, we would suggest getting clarity on what laws apply in your case and what considerations you need to take account of.

It might be worthwhile seeing a counselor or psychologist as well. Because potentially, what you are dealing with is going to be quite stressful. Alternatively, maybe you need some help with the emotions you are feeling.

Finally, when you are in a solid position, and you are ready it might be time to discuss your concerns with your spouse. Often an open discussion can solve a lot of problems and answer a lot of questions. But remember, it might be the catalyst for the end of your relationship.

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